Archive for February, 2009

Turning 40

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

As my 40th birthday looms (a mere month away) I’m amazed by people’s reactions when I tell them I’m turning 40, the most common being, “YOU’RE turning 40?! Wow! You look great!”I’m so perplexed by this! I guess I could understand if I was turning 80, but I don’t think of 40 as old. Yes, by the age of 40 there’s no getting around the fact that you’re officially a grown-up, but I’ve been toying with this idea for a few years now, so I won’t be too shocked by the fact that yes, I’m actually an adult. I don’t know, I guess I know a lot of fabulous 40-year-olds. They’re having babies, they’re getting their doctorates, they’re changing careers, they’re creating careers… It’s a good age, an age where you feel relaxed,  powerful, capable of handling anything all by yourself. I’m scared to turn 40–it’s the official age where I have to clean up after myself. There’s just no one else to do it for me, except when I visit my parents and they do it for me. I’m a little scared of marching one step closer to mortality. But I’m excited too. It’s a new decade. A new dance.And I’m exactly where I want to be. I’ve lived so many of my dreams: Learn to belly dance, check. Perform for thousands of people, check. Learn to play the cello, tiny check. Find my true love, check. Have a family, check. Share my life with the most extraordinary people on the planet, check.And I still have a lot more goals: play the cello in an orchestra, get my doctorate, learn to ballroom dance, learn to surf, write books… I have a long ways to go!I’m just getting started.                                                              

Dr. Pinky and the Tickle Monster

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

Henry awakened me asking to nurse “fo one minute.” I said no, he kept asking, so I raised the two-finger tickle monster who said, “Sh!” over and over again until it reached Henry’s tummy and he collapsed in giggles. This went on for a while, and Henry kept asking, so finally Dr. Pinky came out and said, “No nursing! You’re too big! Nursing is for babies.” Henry said, “Dat pinky can’t talk! He doesn’t have a mouth!”Yes, thats why Dr. Pinky can’t talk.  I can’t believe Henry still nurses at his size! He’s 35 pounds! Poor little boo scraped his knees and feet today on the brick driveway running from the hose. He wanted to be held like a baby chimp the rest of the day. We had a magical day. We wenwt to toddler time at the Longue Vue Mansion–what an inspiring garden! I got so many ideas for my yard this summer! I loved the wisteria arbor, the jasmine trellis with digging for worms underneath, the sweet pea tepees… Henry immediately went for the beach balls and after we played a gleeful game of soccer with those, he watered the flowers with a spray bottle, occasionally turning to spray me. After this, he dragged a wagon of logs or “firewood” into the middle of the clearing and laid them all out end to end in a curving design, saying he was building a fire. This was followed by digging for worms. It’s an amazing experience to kneel in the rich dark soil with your son and look at the first real worm he’s ever seen together! The little worm raised its head as if to say “how do you do?”Henry loved this! He was afraid when they started to wiggle with gusto. We moved onto picking and eating sweet peas, which he refused to try, and then to the lemon trees and all the sweet smelling herbs. henry especially loved the bamboo tunnel, the twisted tree, and the story and song about bears and hibernation. We drove to pick up Annabelle, and when she emerged from the classroom, Henry ran to her and threw his arms around her. She then hugged me, and he hugged her again! He kept talking about “my sister.” She was really cute with him too. She tried to cheer him up when he fell by doing a crazy dance and saying his favorite word, “poop.” We came home and they played for a while in the front seats of the car, even stacking the leftover carrots from Annabelle’s lunch on the roof of the car! When I drove to my board meeting later, carrots came rolling down the car!Annabelle had a ball at school and played with the hose and climbed trees afterwards. She loved doing playdough, and her favorite thing in the world is hearing stories. We’re reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and she carries it from room to room begging me to read more. We just finished James and the Giant Peach and the Boxcar Children. She immediately disappears into her own magical world when she’s playing.I really can’t believe how lucky I am to spend my days with them. It’s bittersweet to watch Annabelle pull away from me. She loves school, loves playing with her friends, and is more than happy when I leave and the babysitter comes. This is exactly what I’ve tried to raise her to do, of course, a safe happy independent exploration of the world, but still, I long for those days when I held her warm little body in my arms and it fit so snuggly and perfectly. I told her tonight how when she was in my tummy, I couldn’t wait to meet her, and when I finally held her in my arms, all I could say was “You’re perfect!” over and over again.She is perfect. They both are.   

The Next Big Question

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

Well, she asked the next biggie: “Mom, who is the sandman?” “What do you mean?” “Is he a guy?” “Hmmmm, well, he’s kind of like a flying gnome with a long beard and a bag of sand over his shoulder.” I don’t know, what do you tell a four year old about the sandman who comes and sprinkles sand dust dreams over her eyes at night? 

Where do babies come from?

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Annabelle asked me the big question the other day.”Mom, where do babies come from?”"From their mothers,” I replied.”I know, but where do the mothers come from?” she asked.”Oh, well, the ocean and the stars and the mountains all come together and swirl their energy and make a baby.”"Oh,” she said, drawing a picture of herself standing next to a flower, “I thought they came from nurses.”My little sister has always told me that you’re supposed to tell the details to children when they ask these sorts of questions. I remember listening to her tell her own preschooler, Kalvin, when he asked the same question, that there are sperms and eggs and the sperms swim up a river and join the egg and that makes a baby. I can’t imagine my explanation was any more confusing than that. And I will tell her at some point. It just seems that her little world is so sweet and beautiful and filled with wonder. I don’t want to add any gender craziness in there.I don’t know. I make up this parenting thing as I go along, and I must say I’m having a ball! Annabelle and Henry are enchanting, entertaining, smart, and wildly funny.  I really can’t believe I get to spend my days with such stellar people.